This is not what I expected my first posting on this blog to be about but I just have to write...
I can't sleep tonight. It isn't because Don is snoring, or that it is too hot, or that Hi is crawling all over me--all common things that keep me awake. It is because Hi is gone and all I can do is cry about my little buddy not being there. I am heartbroken because I have lost a dear friend.
This afternoon, I discovered our dear kitty had passed away. It was awful. I keep picturing the scene of finding him over and over. I am also flooded with 15 years of memories.
Don adopted Hi from a trailer park in Pensacola, Florida in 1990 when he was just a few weeks old. He used to take him to the beach when he was a kitten as a way to attract girls. Ah, what a scene--a true chick magnet. I met Hi when he was almost 11 months old. I didn't like him. He didn't like me. He was pretty jealous of me and I was pretty allergic to him. I was definitely not a cat person! Well, Don and I got married so Hi came with the marriage. It was a two for one deal.
Little did I know Hi would be such a great source of comfort and companionship to me through the years. When Don was away on deployment and other training exercises, Hi was with me. When I came home from work, Hi was there to greet me. When it looked like I would never have a child to parent, Hi was there to remind me my lap wasn't completely empty and he would gladly be my baby. When I was recovering from brain surgery, Hi was there to cheer me. He was affectionate and loving and had a way of understanding me when others didn't.
Lately, Hi had slowed down quite a bit. He wasn't as agile as he once was--probably due to arthritis. I am not sure he could always hear or see very well. He recently was diagnosed with a thyroid problem and was being treated for that. Despite his age and ailments, he was just as sweet and loving as ever. I was worried about how he would react when we brought Lindy home. Would he feel displaced? Would he feel replaced? Would he be mean and aggressive? He was nothing but wonderful and tolerant with her. He accepted her and loved her.
Today, I didn't make the bed before I left the house for Ladies Bible Class. I always make the bed before I leave the house but this morning Hi was curled up in a ball and I didn't want to disturb him. So, I just petted him and said a couple words to him and let him keep sleeping. Oh, if only I would've known that was the last time I'd see him alive. I would've hugged him and stroked him and poured out my heart to him one last time.
Don buried Hi in the back yard next to the big tree. Hi loved to sit in the sun and look out the window at the back yard. He would watch the birds and critters with great interest. Now he is on the outside looking in.
There are some blessings surrounding Hi's passing. For one, Don leaves on a business trip tomorrow (really this morning). I am not sure I could've done this on my own without his strength. God knew that. Another blessing is that Hi probably went very peacefully. I had agonized over the prospect of one day having to make the decision to put him down. God in His infinite wisdom didn't let it come to that. Although I am not sure what happened, I pray he wasn't in much pain and didn't suffer and that it was just his time. I am also thankful we don't have to do a lot of explaining to Lindy. She loved Hi but I am not sure she will actively seek him out and I know she isn't old enough to understand what happened. If she asks, for now we'll tell her kitty went bye bye.
I am thankful for all the special memories I have of Hi. Things won't be the same without him. In his honor, I think I am going to go try really hard to get some sleep. Afterall, what cat didn't love sleep???
I can't sleep tonight. It isn't because Don is snoring, or that it is too hot, or that Hi is crawling all over me--all common things that keep me awake. It is because Hi is gone and all I can do is cry about my little buddy not being there. I am heartbroken because I have lost a dear friend.
This afternoon, I discovered our dear kitty had passed away. It was awful. I keep picturing the scene of finding him over and over. I am also flooded with 15 years of memories.
Don adopted Hi from a trailer park in Pensacola, Florida in 1990 when he was just a few weeks old. He used to take him to the beach when he was a kitten as a way to attract girls. Ah, what a scene--a true chick magnet. I met Hi when he was almost 11 months old. I didn't like him. He didn't like me. He was pretty jealous of me and I was pretty allergic to him. I was definitely not a cat person! Well, Don and I got married so Hi came with the marriage. It was a two for one deal.
Little did I know Hi would be such a great source of comfort and companionship to me through the years. When Don was away on deployment and other training exercises, Hi was with me. When I came home from work, Hi was there to greet me. When it looked like I would never have a child to parent, Hi was there to remind me my lap wasn't completely empty and he would gladly be my baby. When I was recovering from brain surgery, Hi was there to cheer me. He was affectionate and loving and had a way of understanding me when others didn't.
Lately, Hi had slowed down quite a bit. He wasn't as agile as he once was--probably due to arthritis. I am not sure he could always hear or see very well. He recently was diagnosed with a thyroid problem and was being treated for that. Despite his age and ailments, he was just as sweet and loving as ever. I was worried about how he would react when we brought Lindy home. Would he feel displaced? Would he feel replaced? Would he be mean and aggressive? He was nothing but wonderful and tolerant with her. He accepted her and loved her.
Today, I didn't make the bed before I left the house for Ladies Bible Class. I always make the bed before I leave the house but this morning Hi was curled up in a ball and I didn't want to disturb him. So, I just petted him and said a couple words to him and let him keep sleeping. Oh, if only I would've known that was the last time I'd see him alive. I would've hugged him and stroked him and poured out my heart to him one last time.
Don buried Hi in the back yard next to the big tree. Hi loved to sit in the sun and look out the window at the back yard. He would watch the birds and critters with great interest. Now he is on the outside looking in.
There are some blessings surrounding Hi's passing. For one, Don leaves on a business trip tomorrow (really this morning). I am not sure I could've done this on my own without his strength. God knew that. Another blessing is that Hi probably went very peacefully. I had agonized over the prospect of one day having to make the decision to put him down. God in His infinite wisdom didn't let it come to that. Although I am not sure what happened, I pray he wasn't in much pain and didn't suffer and that it was just his time. I am also thankful we don't have to do a lot of explaining to Lindy. She loved Hi but I am not sure she will actively seek him out and I know she isn't old enough to understand what happened. If she asks, for now we'll tell her kitty went bye bye.
I am thankful for all the special memories I have of Hi. Things won't be the same without him. In his honor, I think I am going to go try really hard to get some sleep. Afterall, what cat didn't love sleep???
2 comments:
Lisa,
I am so sorry to hear about Hi's passing. I know that he was more special than words can say, and am very sad for your loss.
As a mom of several fur-children, I was really touched by this. :) Sorry to hear he passed...but at the same time that the manner of his passing was peaceful and had closure for you. I always thought Don's thing with "Raising Arizona" was bizzare, but with that cat....the name fit him perfectly.
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